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Friday, August 24, 2012

Top 5 Reasons why I should win the lottery....

I got up at 5 am this morning....Hubs was still sleeping.  I waddled into the kitchen to make a pot of coffee.

Reason #1:  I should NOT be allowed to use a coffee maker
I put the beans in, filled the water tank, emptied the old grounds and pushed the button.  How hard can this be?  I stood there, one eye open, one eye closed, with my coffee cup in hand watching and waiting for the joyful noise of the three *beeps* telling me the nectar of the Gods was ready.  Well, if I had a squeegie--I could have swirled it all into my cup from the countertop.  It would seem I forgot the all-important step of emptying the previous pot!  I need to hire a personal assistant to have my coffee ready in the morning.  These coffeemaker people make the task entirely too mind-boggling for those of us who have NOT had their coffee yet to perform all the little tricks to making a good cup of coffee....

Reason #2:  I should NOT be allowed to use hedge trimmers
Last weekend when I was on my little yardwork kick, I may have accidentally ran the electric cord through the trimmers causing fireworks and a blown electrical breaker.  (This would explain why my fountain hasn't worked all week--I was actually thinking of disassembling it and heaving it into the dumpster because I was all fired up about it...)  I definitely need to hire someone to help with the yard work.

Reason #3:  I should NOT have to drive myself
I went on a rant last week on my FB page because of semi trucks and those dang re-tread tires.  How many times have you swerved to miss parts and pieces of a tire on the road...or almost seen or been a part of an accident because some other driver was swerving?  Wednesday, I was behind one of said semis.  We were approaching a construction zone.  There was nowhere to swerve to.  His re-tread came off and almost hit my windshield.  I guess I should be grateful that it did not, however....instead....I hit it with the front of my car!  I pulled the skirting on the driver's side loose and had to make the Hubs attach it back on.  Now, there is a nice black spot on the front under the bumper above the skirting (and it is just too dang early to remember what it is called....brain fart) that will constantly remind me how much I hate those re-tread tires.  Definitely need to hire a driver.

Reason #4:  I should not have to clean my own house
OK, maybe I should....but it sure would be nice to have someone do it for me!

******DRUMROLL PLEASE*******

and THE FINAL REASON I SHOULD WIN THE LOTTERY.....

Reason #5:  I should not have to fix my own mistakes!
I need an Executive Assistant in the Sewing Studio to do my frog-stitching.  When he/she gets bored, they can also do my pressing or maybe even some cutting....

I'm just sayin.......

1 comment:

pcflamingo said...

Lawn maintenance guy was one of the Stable Of Men I hired after my husband died 3 years ago. I don't like yard work and I don't like tinkering with the implements necessary for yard work (that's my story anyway).

Those myth buster guys did a show about how it's "impossible" for a tire from a semi to blow up at exactly the right time to take out your windshield. HA! I bet you and several other near-miss motorists would beg to differ.

My housekeeper Patty will stay on even after I retire. Any time I don't have to spend vacuuming or cleaning the toilet is time I can spend sewing. I think God wants that for me.